17 Imprints on my Heart

17 girls, 5 weeks...sounds daunting. 

Daunting because for five weeks, I am going to be in charge on seventeen freshman-aged girls. 

That's how I felt 6 weeks ago, when I started by job as an RA for CPYB's summer program. I didn't know what to expect. What would each girl bring to our hall, what I would bring to our hall, am I qualified to handle seventeen girls, do I even remember what being fourteen was like? All these doubts ran through my head. I was nervous yet excited, to say the least.

Once I met these girls, I quickly realized how extremely humbling it is to have seventeen little sweets run to you. Run to you when they miss home, when they need bugs killed, when they need a smile, when they have questions about life, when they need something to do or  when they need a friend. Suddenly, I was responsible for making sure these kids have the best five weeks of their life. 

Let me tell you something though. As much as I hope our five weeks together impacted them, I don't think they realize how much they impacted me. For the first time in a while, I felt 100%, completely myself. I wasn't caught up in how to adult or what the world is thinking of me but rather, how am I interacting with my girls and how much fun we could have together.  Being with these girls reminded me of a few things...

1. Joy can be found anywhere. Whether it's the purchase of a new scooter, the excitement of a field trip over the weekend, or simply the joy of hanging out and laughing in an old basement, joy can be found if we allow it in. I think sometimes I over think to much which causes us to loose sight of what actually brings joy. What if joy comes from meeting new people? What if joy comes from soaking up new adventures? What if joy comes from embracing life and not just forcing it? 14 year olds (give and take a few) reminded me of that. 

2. We all want to be seen. It could just be that someone smiles at us, but no matter how shy or outgoing we are, we want to be seen. It made me cry when I received texts from my girls after they left telling me that just my daily smile before they went to bed made them feel loved. We want to be seen, we want to feel loved and maybe we just need to be more aware of doing the little things to provide that. 

3. Everything can be an adventure. What was so cool about my girls is that they made everything exciting. From making foot scrub to walking to the movies, each activity we shared they made an adventure. They dove in head first into whatever  was given and each time I came out more impressed with how they were so excited about the little things (which I completely understand because I too, love the little things). They reminded me that maybe sometimes, I need to start looking for the little adventures in life, rather than just dwelling on the big goals that lie ahead of me. 

4. Chaos = Life. There were moments in our five weeks where chaos was present, and it was present big time. I realized midway through though, that chaos means life is happening and it's happening well. Without occasional chaos, life is stagnant and when life is stagnant, there is no growth. What is life without constant growth as human beings?

5. To fully give ourselves to others, we first need to love ourselves. For me to confidently say that I gave everything I had to my girls those five weeks, I would need to know who I am. I've always known who I am  but this last couple of months, I've lost sight of it. These girls made me remember who I am and because of that, I was able to fully give my attention, time and love to them. I will forever thank my girls for reminding me of that.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this: I was reminded of a lot of things while spending a significant amount of time with these girls and I think these reminders are something we can all benefit from. Just knowing how our small actions, thoughts and words can make an impact is so important, especially in today's world. In addition to that, there's so much we can learn from each other, no matter the age. I hope now that I know that, I can constantly look to see how each person in my life impacts me. I've made it a personal goal to take everything I've learned through this and add it to my daily life because the world needs more love, and these girls reminded me of how to spread it. 

Lastly, I doubt my girls are reading this (and if they are, I've totally lost my cool factor ;) ) but if they are, I owe them a thank you. A huge thank you. Thank you for reminding me of all the great things in life, thanks for letting me be fourteen (or fifteen/sixteen) and carefree with you guys. Thank you for respecting me. Thank you for imprinting my heart. I'm proud of have shared five weeks with you and my heart explodes with nothing but love for you.