Confidently In The Direction

Sigh. That's how this blog post literally started for me. I turned off my music, sighed and started typing. I know that seems silly because hello I'm the author of this blog, I can write whatever I want, so why write something I have to "sigh" about? Well, part of me really wants to write this blog post. I've known since the beginning of April that this post was coming, I just didn't necessarily know when I would be able to write it. I didn't know because honestly, this one is a scary one for me. It's scary because, well, I'm going to be reallyyy vulnerable, reallyyy honest, and reallyyy trusting.  You see, I have flaws (shocker, right? ;) ). But seriously, I have many flaws. One of them is something I've been working on since high school, maybe even middle school. I care a lot, I mean a lot  about what others think of me. Part of me thinks it's good sometimes, I value community, being held accountable and people speaking into my life  ...

In case you missed the memo: I'm baaaack!!! That's right, I'm home. I'm not going to lie, it was weird at first. In many ways it felt like I never left but in other ways, I felt like a stranger. That being said, being a stranger quickly faded. I mean this is my home! So much of who I am stemmed from all that I encountered, learned and experienced here. Carlisle is my home. Carlisle will always be my home. Since being back, a lot has happened. For starters, I launched my "Alumni of the Year" campaign for CPYB. This was a huge step of "just going for it" for me. Usually, I like to plan out exactly how everything will work but this has been different. I've had to go into this campaign without any expectation and hope to make a difference. I still have 5 weeks left and a lot of money to raise but I'm proud of myself for simply giving it a shot.  About two weeks after being home my family took a vacation. Usually we vacation in August but beca...

May 15, 2016. I remember sitting back home last August and marking this day as "Last day in Austin" in my phone. I was so worried, how was I going to make in 9 months in Austin...alone? That would be the longest 9 months of my life. Here we are though. May 15th, 2016 and this season is coming to an end. I think part of me is still in denial because while this year was probably the most trying thing I've ever been through, it's probably been the most beautiful. In so many ways, I've grown. I've grown as a dancer, undoubtedly, I've grown as a person, I've grown as a daughter, I've grown as a sister, I've grown as a friend and most importantly, I've grown as a Christian. In all areas of my life I have grown. There were definitely points in this year where I just wanted to go back. Go back to Carlisle, Pennsylvania, back to high school, back to my friends and family and the life I've always known but I'm so glad I didn't or rather...

Dear Kayla, I'm writing this letter because I hope you always remember today, your last day of being 18. What a glorious day it was, filled with love, friends and a reminder of one of the most beautiful sounds in life: laughter. Although it marked tomorrow being your first birthday away from home, it was a simple reminder of how you have been so graciously blessed moving down to Austin, Texas. This year has brought a lot of growth between the highs and the lows. Highs like: getting your license, graduating high school, getting a trainee position at Ballet Austin, dancing in your first professional Nutcracker and of course, meeting all sorts of new, beautiful people. It also brought lows like: experiencing heartbreak, change in friendships, learning how to do life without your family all around the same table but through it all, life was still beautiful. A beautiful hike filled with God's never ending grace and mercy covering every mountain and every valley. I'm not su...

Let me start by simply saying the obvious: it's been a while. It's been awhile because honestly, my brain has been all over the place recently. I mean this physically with work, ballet, grocery shopping, cooking, laundry, etc (when did I become so lame???) but also mentally. I've had so many different thoughts lately and for a while I thought they didn't have a connection but sitting here and actually processing, I've realized they are all connected to one thing: Home.  The first place that my brain has been in is Pennsylvania, for the sole reason of missing it. I'm not sure if I'm missing home more than usual right now because fall, my favorite season, doesn't exist here or because it's been a month and a half since I've had a good mom hug. Probably a little bit of both. Anyway, more often than not I find myself imagining how amazing it's going to feel December 23rd (or 24th....Dad and I are still discussing traveling dates. You can guess ...

"Here goes nothing."  That's been my motto for the last three or four days. Leaving home on Wednesday was bittersweet, mostly bitter but still bittersweet. I packed up everything in my room, except a little vanity that holds some picture frames I couldn't fit and I said goodbye to my family. Saying goodbye to my family was excruciatingly hard, especially because the longest I've ever had to say goodbye for was six weeks. First I said goodbye to my three younger brothers. It is hard for me to know that I will be missing a huge year in their lives. For Tyler and Thomas this year, junior year, will probably be their hardest year yet and I wish I could be there. I wish I could be there to offer advice, wisdom and tips to help them survive this year because I've been there, I've had the similar classes and I know how this year will be trying. For Coby this year, freshman year, is a huge year of change and I wish I could watch all he becomes but I can't...