Confidently In The Direction

Today’s a “Kayla Soul day”.  Which means it’s a sleep in late, read your Bible in bed, go for a long walk to have some sweet talks with Jesus, skip the makeup and wear your favorite hat, dream about the very business that you own, ask God to teach you more about yourself and rest in knowing his promises are real, all before noon kinda day. Sounds sweet, right? I highly recommend them.  Anyway, on my walk with Jesus a few things happened and I really feel it placed on my heart to share. There's a couple things you, as my reader, should know before I share these things. First of all, I am currently in counseling. I've known I was going to blog about this in the near future but I wasn't sure when or how, but I think it's important to share today. I've only been going for two weeks now but it turns out to be the best thing I've ever done. Hands down. Side note: this is slightly ironic because when my dad first suggested the idea I freaked out...

I'm so thankful. I've been sitting at my computer for the past month trying to adequately explain that in a nice blog post. I've tried to incorporate life metaphors, great opening lines, imagery from the creek right outside our window, so many stinking ways to just say I'm so thankful. I know, this time of year Thankfulness is always so emphasized. I hear ya with the argument that we should be thankful all year round. I also hear you with the argument that we shouldn't spend a day being thankful and then spend the next 4 spending all our money on super sales both in stores and online. I hear you with all the arguments but here I am just saying I'm so thankful. I'm so thankful because 365 days ago, I was a very different person. Of course, I was still Kayla Justine Hallman. I still had a lot of the same dreams, the same pet peeves, the same habits & nervous ticks but deep down inside I was a very broken, worn out girl. I was tired of life kicking me...

17 girls, 5 weeks...sounds daunting.  Daunting because for five weeks, I am going to be in charge on seventeen freshman-aged girls.  That's how I felt 6 weeks ago, when I started by job as an RA for CPYB's summer program. I didn't know what to expect. What would each girl bring to our hall, what I would bring to our hall, am I qualified to handle seventeen girls, do I even remember what being fourteen was like? All these doubts ran through my head. I was nervous yet excited, to say the least. Once I met these girls, I quickly realized how extremely humbling it is to have seventeen little sweets run to you. Run to you when they miss home, when they need bugs killed, when they need a smile, when they have questions about life, when they need something to do or  when they need a friend. Suddenly, I was responsible for making sure these kids have the best five weeks of their life.  Let me tell you something though. As much as I hope our five weeks together...

Dear Kayla, I'm writing this letter because I hope you always remember today, your last day of being 18. What a glorious day it was, filled with love, friends and a reminder of one of the most beautiful sounds in life: laughter. Although it marked tomorrow being your first birthday away from home, it was a simple reminder of how you have been so graciously blessed moving down to Austin, Texas. This year has brought a lot of growth between the highs and the lows. Highs like: getting your license, graduating high school, getting a trainee position at Ballet Austin, dancing in your first professional Nutcracker and of course, meeting all sorts of new, beautiful people. It also brought lows like: experiencing heartbreak, change in friendships, learning how to do life without your family all around the same table but through it all, life was still beautiful. A beautiful hike filled with God's never ending grace and mercy covering every mountain and every valley. I'm not su...

You know how I would describe my heart? Like a floodgate. A floodgate that, once opened, doesn't stop until everything is out on the table. Like when I feel joy, I feel it until tears fall down my face. When I feel pain, I feel it until all I know is pain. When I feel anxious, all I feel are anxious thoughts instantly flooding to my mind and when I love, I love to my fullest. Maybe that makes me sound like one big emotional goon, but regardless its true. Once I consciously open my heart, suddenly my hidden walls are bashed down and out flow my deepest thoughts, insecurities and realities that I normally just push to the side. Now you, my dear reader, could probably care less to know that but in order for you to process where my thoughts have been, that part of who I am is important to remember.  I've realized that as much as this blog is for keeping my friends and family up to date, it's also very much for myself. In some ways, this blog is becoming like a public journal ...

If you follow me on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook you've seen my recent pictures series, #KaylaCountsTilChristmas2015, and probably concluded that I was getting pretty impatient to get home. If you came to that conclusion, you would be 100% correct. Don't get me wrong, I love being independent. I love grocery shopping, planning my schedule and figuring out myself in a new city but I don't think anything will ever beat being in the comfort of my home. I don't even mean my physical home because my room is still barren which is weird but just being in the comfort, laughter and love of my family and friends. Being in a place that I can walk down the street and find memories or knowing that I'll walk in my door and be greeted by my sweet dog. Being home for nine days and the new year coming up (which by the way, I would like time to stop for me to catch up please and thank you) I've been thinking about a lot. First of all, this year is ending in ways I could neve...

Do you ever just have those moments when suddenly thoughts hit you like a surprise attack? You know those moments where you're driving in your car, you hear a song and next thing you know you're crying. I had one of those today....and not because I was sad.  I was sitting at a stop light listening to the radio and I heard these words: "I don't need my name in lights, I'm famous in my Father's eyes...  ...I'm not living for applause  I'm already so adored It's on His stage He knows my name" Of course, I've heard this song before and I know that it's one of my favorites but today it just hit home for me.  I'm not really sure why it hit me today. I mean I've had a great week so far and besides from the usual missing my family, nothing terrible is going on but I heard those words and next thing I know tears were rolling down my face. After really focusing on what I was feeling in that moment I came to thi...