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Surprise Attack

Do you ever just have those moments when suddenly thoughts hit you like a surprise attack? You know those moments where you're driving in your car, you hear a song and next thing you know you're crying. I had one of those today....and not because I was sad. 

 I was sitting at a stop light listening to the radio and I heard these words:
"I don't need my name in lights,
I'm famous in my Father's eyes...
 ...I'm not living for applause 
I'm already so adored
It's on His stage
He knows my name"
Of course, I've heard this song before and I know that it's one of my favorites but today it just hit home for me. 

I'm not really sure why it hit me today. I mean I've had a great week so far and besides from the usual missing my family, nothing terrible is going on but I heard those words and next thing I know tears were rolling down my face.

After really focusing on what I was feeling in that moment I came to this conclusion. I think it was a quiet reminder, a not-so distant voice from my loving Father. Sometimes I get caught up in myself and making sure I am known for what I can do and what I can be, especially in the career I have chosen. I mean, the point of a dance career is to be seen, don't get me wrong! You want to give yourself to the audience so that they are amazed at your abilities, your artistry, and what you bring as a dancer. So of course, you want to be known! But sometimes...I get caught up in just being known for being the best there which may sound great but I'm not so sure. If I'm known for being the best turner but not being the best to other people around me, is that really a great legacy? Or if I am known for always having the best balances but I am also known for not being grateful for every opportunity I've been given, is that really something to be proud of? Today I realized it's not. I've always known this I guess, but today I was definitely reminded. 
Since I am in a new place, I am constantly having to prove myself. No doubt about that, but I think I need to start focusing less on that I am known and more of why I am known. 
Hearing this song today reminded me that while yes, I want to be the best dancer I can be, I don't want to make that my only priority. You see, my dance career will only last for so long. While it's great to be known for being successful, which I won't deny and still apsire to do, what happens when I stop dancing? How will I be remembered by the people I interacted with? I want to be known for the way I present myself, whether or not I am dancing. I want to be known for the way I use my words, even though while I'm performing I may not use them. Words of kindness, truth, humility, and love, especially for the people that are hard to love. I want to be known because I have made my God known. Known because I have stayed to my values in every aspect of my life, no matter how hard the journey. I want to be known because of who I am in God, not because of who I make myself for others.  I think that dancing is my outlet to show all these things, if I allow it to be. If I allow it to be less about what I can do and more about the One who has blessed me in doing it, to me, that would truly be being known. 
Maybe that's what Francesca Battistelli was thinking when she wrote this song. Or maybe not. I have no idea. But today, that's what it meant to me. I need to stop focusing on making what I can do known and remembering that I am known by the One who matters and with Him guiding me, then and only then will I be known by others.  


Francesca Battistelli; He Knows My Name
(Lyric Video)





         

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