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It's Good To Be Back

Let me describe two moments for you. My two moments of, what felt like, invincibility...

You're standing backstage just moments before you preform the biggest role of your career so far. This role is one you've spent every year inspired by for the last twelve years. You've seen many other dancers perform it, usually the top dancers of the school, and yet here you are. This year you are the one wearing the pink tutu and holding a handcrafted wand. This year you are the Sugarplum Fairy. It's not something you ever dreamed of doing nor something you ever expected but here you are. The music swells, you make your entrance and suddenly all eyes are on you. You feel stunning, strong, and confident which is different because those things don't usually hit you like they did today, right now, while you are dancing. You look at the little angels smiling as you dance and you remember, that was you twelve years ago. You were the one of the girls with bright eyes and little feet watching and wondering if you could ever do that and now you are. You remember all the hard work, determination, dedication, and perseverance it took to be dancing like this and you smile. You smile because this is your moment and inside you're soaking up every second on that stage so that you never lose the feeling you have right now.

Flash forward six months and you're standing backstage exhausted. It's your final performance and you are physically, mentally and emotionally drained but you can't focus on that. Instead you must focus on what you are about to do: your final principal role as a student. So far everything has gone as you have hoped and now's your last chance. Your last chance to give everything you've got and so you run onto that stage and you prepare to dance the best you ever have. With each step, you pour everything you have into it because again you feel stunning, strong and confident. Everything you have ever worked for, will show right here because everyone is watching you, for the last time as a student on this stage and that is something you are proud of.

***
It's my second week at Ballet Austin and I can honestly say, I am happy. Each day, well Monday through Friday, I begin with an hour and a half technique class followed by, depending on the day, a pointe, variations or pas de duex (partnering) class and then I finish with different type of dance class (i.e. jazz, hip hop, contemporary...these classes are definitely a sight to see haha). I usually go from 9:00 am until 2:00 pm unless I have rehearsal, in which case I finish later. All that to say, each day I am given a different schedule, different teachers, and a new way of thinking and to me, that is so exciting. I am being presented with more and more opportunities everyday to think a new way, to discover something I haven't yet, to perfect technique I already know but most importantly, work more and more so I can have more of my moments. Moments like the two I described above, performing George Balanchine's "Sugarplum" in The Nutcracker and the principal role in George Balanchine's Valse Fantasie. Those two moments are some of my proudest moments and I long for more of them. More moments of invincibility. That's why I'm here, that's why I've moved to Austin. I want to learn, grow, and discover something more each and every day so that I can be one step closer to making those moments become what I am paid to do. Being paid to live your dreams, be proud of something and share what you're proud of  with others....that just seems to good to be true. One day though it won't be and that's what  I am working for. It's the beginning of week 3 in this process so I can't say what the future holds but it's good. It's good to be back and working each day to be closer to my dreams.
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