The Work of A Soul Day

Today’s a “Kayla Soul day”. 

Which means it’s a sleep in late, read your Bible in bed, go for a long walk to have some sweet talks with Jesus, skip the makeup and wear your favorite hat, dream about the very business that you own, ask God to teach you more about yourself and rest in knowing his promises are real, all before noon kinda day. Sounds sweet, right? I highly recommend them. 

Anyway, on my walk with Jesus a few things happened and I really feel it placed on my heart to share. There's a couple things you, as my reader, should know before I share these things. First of all, I am currently in counseling. I've known I was going to blog about this in the near future but I wasn't sure when or how, but I think it's important to share today. I've only been going for two weeks now but it turns out to be the best thing I've ever done. Hands down. Side note: this is slightly ironic because when my dad first suggested the idea I freaked out. Like 3 year old tantrum, burst into tears, "how dare you think I could ever need something like that" freak out. It wasn't my finest moment. But! I think that's why it's so important for me to share that I am going to counseling.  If I freaked out about it because I thought it "wasn't for me" and "how dare anyone think I need counseling", then how many other people are thinking that? Here's an answer: too many. The truth is we're all broken, messed up people. We've all been through hurt, we've all experienced heartache and when we don't address that, it festers. Festering doesn't help when you're trying to heal. So, I'm proud to share that I'm doing this because I think mental health is important. Not just addressing mental illnesses and supporting those who have them but also just plain old mental health. Like physical health. At this point we know that exercise and healthy eating is the right way to go so why don't we talk about the fact that sometimes it takes talking with another skilled, highly education individual to help heal some heartache? I don't know. But I think we should talk about it. And talk about it proudly. Back to my point though, I'm going to counseling. I'm going to process through my heartache from Austin but also to process through life thus far. The truth is, my life hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows. I've grown up in a culture, the dance world, that hurls lies to you left and right. Luckily, I've had parents who raised me to know truth but when you hear lies from the age of 6 and up, they sometimes sink in more than you realize. 

I've been talking with my counselor about true identity and finding value in how God sees me rather than how this world sees me. Honestly, this is a struggle for me. I think I've shared this on my blog before but I put a lot of weight into what others say about me. So, I've been working to break that. She told me to prayerfully ask God to show me how he sees me because if I have that, no man can take that away (Insert all the praise hand emojis). This idea seems great and all but here's the thing. I've kind of lost sight of the power of prayer. When you grow up in the church, your dad works in the church, your best friends are from the church, sometimes it's easy to be numb to the truth that we can openly communicate with our Creator. 

So today on my walk, I said plain and simple "God, I know I've loved you for a long time but I have no clue what I'm doing here. I just want to know how you see me. I want to hear you and be near to you." and you know what. He freaking answered. I've seen creation in a way I've never seen before. It was amazing! Everything was vibrant and alive. I was in awe. I learned a lot about how He sees me too and that was the coolest of all. 

I'm not really sure why I'm sharing all this today to be honest. I just felt in placed on my heart to share. I think God is doing some big work in my life right now and maybe I'm encouraging you to let him to do some in yours too? I never had this crazy story of how God came in and completely changed the trajectory of my life but I do have a story. It's full of the redemptive work of God, where I've seen His grace and this unexplainable call to holiness and if you ask me, that is sweet story. 

So, I'll share my Soul days with you and recommend you to take one. I'll tell you I'm going to counseling and allowing God to move in and through me. I'll encourage you to just give prayer a shot, even if it seems to have lost its power for you. If you're anything like me, you might come out full of joy. 

And that, my friends, is the work of a soul day.