Confidently In The Direction

December 30, 2016: "I pray next year proves to be incredibly more peaceful. I pray this for both my sanity's sake but also I pray it is peaceful remembering that no matter what, God will carry me. Even though the deepest of waters."  That is the final line in my journal entry from one year ago.  First of all, it's Crazy, with a capital C, that in two short days it will be 2018. I almost feel like I'm living in a dream because how in the world did the year go by so fast? As I look back, this year was such sweet one; filled with so much growing. I'm thankful for a new year but also a bit nervous.  Here's the thing, when I sat down on year ago to type a blog similar to this  I kinda knew what to expect of 2017. First of all, I knew that I was SO glad that 2016 was over. I mean extremely glad. 2016 was my hardest year to this date...and that's with a move across the country happening this year.   With that in mind, I knew 2017 could only get better.

I'm so thankful. I've been sitting at my computer for the past month trying to adequately explain that in a nice blog post. I've tried to incorporate life metaphors, great opening lines, imagery from the creek right outside our window, so many stinking ways to just say I'm so thankful. I know, this time of year Thankfulness is always so emphasized. I hear ya with the argument that we should be thankful all year round. I also hear you with the argument that we shouldn't spend a day being thankful and then spend the next 4 spending all our money on super sales both in stores and online. I hear you with all the arguments but here I am just saying I'm so thankful. I'm so thankful because 365 days ago, I was a very different person. Of course, I was still Kayla Justine Hallman. I still had a lot of the same dreams, the same pet peeves, the same habits & nervous ticks but deep down inside I was a very broken, worn out girl. I was tired of life kicking me

Simplee Dance. That was the title of my first blog. Hold up? First blog?? Yes, friends, I had a blog before "Confidently in the Direction". Simplee Dance "launched" when I was a freshman in high school and it had one goal: to change the lives of young girls. I mean it was going to be big. It was going to be so big that I didn't even share it with anyone (besides my loving parents and the friend who told me it was an epic idea) because I was convinced girls would stumble upon my rinky-dink blog and tell the world. I wrote about topics like boys, (sidenote: total mistake because up until sophomore year ya girl had never had a boyfriend and boys still made me nervous half way through eighth grade), speaking life, how this generation is different, and all these other big topics. Looking back, I admire pre-adulting Kayla's confidence but shake my head at what I thought I knew about changing the world when I barely even knew myself. And no, you can't go try to

Have you ever seen "The Incredibles"? If you have, you probably remember Edna Mode. If not, let me paint a picture of her for you. She's this spunky, straight forward, confident, creative, funny, little super hero outfit designer. Most of the "supers", as their fondly named in the movie, go to her when they need a new, or fixed up, super outfit because she's the best of the best. I would like to think that Edna Mode is my spirit animal. She says some of my favorite lines in the movie by my absolute favorite is this: "I never look back, darling. It distracts from the now." My brothers and I were watching "The Incredibles" earlier this week and the weight of that line didn't really hit me until today. It's so easy to look back on the "glory days" of our lives sometimes that we forget what greatness we're in now. I could also argue that's the theme of the whole movie but, believe it or not, this blog post is not

Hello from California! That's right, we made it. On July 9th (at 6:00 am, might I add), we pulled into the driveway of our new house. We were exhausted from a TERRIBLE day of travel the day before (car broke down 3 times, stranded on the side of the highway twice, spent 3 hours in an auto shop, ended up leaving a car in Vegas, and driving through the night) but also from all the adventuring we had been doing for the two weeks prior. Honestly, even with our awful last day of travel, I think those two weeks may go into my most favorite memories jar. There's nothing better than two with weeks with your family, exploring all the beautiful places this country has to offer.  Anyway, I'm not going to spend a whole blog post just writing about the trip, even though I totally could, because truth is, after my last post I've been kind of silent on my blog. I'm noticing there's a (not so great) pattern with that. It seems after some of my harder posts to share, it take

Sigh. That's how this blog post literally started for me. I turned off my music, sighed and started typing. I know that seems silly because hello I'm the author of this blog, I can write whatever I want, so why write something I have to "sigh" about? Well, part of me really wants to write this blog post. I've known since the beginning of April that this post was coming, I just didn't necessarily know when I would be able to write it. I didn't know because honestly, this one is a scary one for me. It's scary because, well, I'm going to be reallyyy vulnerable, reallyyy honest, and reallyyy trusting.  You see, I have flaws (shocker, right? ;) ). But seriously, I have many flaws. One of them is something I've been working on since high school, maybe even middle school. I care a lot, I mean a lot  about what others think of me. Part of me thinks it's good sometimes, I value community, being held accountable and people speaking into my life  

I remember "I don't know" was never an acceptable answer in school. It implied you weren't trying, didn't try hard enough or you gave up too soon. I remember thinking "I don't know" was just a huge embarrassment...how could you not know?  A big part of me understands that thought was from pressure I put on myself but there's also a little bit of me that wishes that wasn't something I was set up to believe to be true.  It may seem like that thought is coming out of nowhere (like hello? my last post was December 2016 for crying out loud!!) but lately I've been stuck in this feeling of I don't know . I've said it before , I'm a huge fan of words. The weight words carry, the vulnerability in discussion a can hold and how certain words can be life-changing. I'm also someone who has seldom felt a loss for words. I mean of course there are a few specific occasions that do come to mind; I am an emotional person. Even so, if I&